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Real Live Barbie

from It Ain't Art by The Brothers Burn

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lyrics

She cooks and she cleans
and she's never ever mean

She's sweet as honey
and she's sassy with her money

And she dresses like a queen
and she keeps herself so lean

And she's smarter than a whip
and she never shows a nip

She sweeps and she mops
and her cakes are always tops

She's toned as gold
and she's brassy and she's bold

And she keeps herself a Ken
and she keeps herself a Ten

And she leans up her body
and she's rarely ever naughty

[Chorus]
Be a real live Barbie
Be a real live Barbie Doll

Be a real live Barbie
Be a real live Barbie Doll


She nurtures all the girls
and she keeps herself in pearls

and she's stronger than an ox
and she keeps away the pox

and she's always in the mood
even after cooking food

and she keeps the house so nice
as she sweet-talks all the mice


Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie

Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie Doll

[Bridge]
She knows all about the ways
to whip up perfect mayonnaise

She knows how to samba dance
and how to powerpoint finance

She can make a mean flambe
And never ever need hair spray

She invests in rocket ships
and sews the patches to her hips

She can train a baby seal
and be the closer on the deal

She can mime and make a face
that will send men to outer space


And she cleans the litter box
as she solves a paradox

and she follows all the teams
as she sings with the Supremes

and she keeps the kids in line
as she brews up her moonshine

and she bowls eleven strikes
and salutes the stars and stripes

Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie

She blazes a new trail
while she paints her fingernail

and she irons all Ken's shirts
and she makes her own desserts

Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie

[Bridge]
She can bend and flex to form
and be prepared for a snow storm

She will pass the mensa test
and still not burn the chicken breast

She can run for president
And still say where the money went

She can feed the homeless weak
while wearing shoes that aren't too chic


And she's only synthetic
but she's fully athletic

and she's quick with repartee
but she'd never hurt a flea

and she'll weed and mow the lawn
and she'll clean that dirty bong

and she'll bring home the bacon
make the martini shaken

Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie

She's perfect all the time
and she's great at fighting crime

but she's only synthetic
but she's fully energetic!

Be a real live
Be a real live Barbie Doll

credits

from It Ain't Art, released November 25, 2016

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The Brothers Burn Austin

The Brothers Burn is Austin-based pop-punk-electro-rock-funk producer Scott Osborn, channeling David Byrne, The B-52's, and Frank Zappa with as much zeal as he and his gear and failing voice can muster.

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